at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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