But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
