New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
