one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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