We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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