shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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