Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
