You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
