I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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