did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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