So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
