Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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