Say something about gay babies.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dicks are not precious.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
