Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize