I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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