Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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