NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize