Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
