i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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