Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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