I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize