just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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