I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
