I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
