i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
