I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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