Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
