so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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