it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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