my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize