hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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