I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
