cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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