i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
