you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
