You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize