If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
