I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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