How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am naked and annoyed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
