Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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