she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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