I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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