yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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