Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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