Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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