when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
