Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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