Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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