just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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