i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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