Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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