Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I want to have your abortion
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
