She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
