Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
