i jhust puked up my retainher.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
