He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
