I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
