Its about making memories worth repressing
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize