Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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