why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
