Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize