I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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