he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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