It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
