another moral hangover. fuck.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
