It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
